If you could go back and change one thing…

…What would it be?

It doesnt have to be a big thing or even a life altering thing.

My ‘thing’ would be to go back about 7 years ago, just before I left a particular job.  In our annual performance appraisal I was told  that I was a lying, cheating, self absorbed girl with no integrity.  I bit my tongue so hard it literally bled.  The woman who said that to me was extremely threatened by me, she had been given a position that by rights should have been mine and I had made it clear to the powers that be that I was not impressed by their decision.

I should have told her then and there that her words were clearly a reflection of herself.  I should have told her I would not stand to be spoken to like that.  I should have told her that my father raised me to be respectful, polite, truthful and to behave with the utmost integrity and that I had always and have always behaved in that manner.  I should have gotten up and walked out after resigning on the spot.

What I did was bite my tongue, knowing that speaking was pointless, it would not change her ‘opinion’ of me or change the circumstances that brought us to that point.  Instead I bit my tongue, left the appraisal and contacted my employment agency.  Within a week I had a new job and had resigned from my old one.

Im not unhappy with the way I handled the situation at the time, I was young and quite frankly scared of the repercussions.  With age and wisdom I would like to be able to go back in time and say the things Ithought just because they SHOULD have been said.

Perhaps writing this down now will at last lay this ghost to rest.

So, if you could go back and change one thing…

…What would it be?

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6 Comments

Filed under Me, Myself & I

6 responses to “If you could go back and change one thing…

  1. I would have never ever have thought that of you. Jeez, she’s such a bitch!!

  2. When I was young, I too have made such mistakes by not speaking my mind and letting others walk all over me. I wish that I could take at least one of those moments back.

  3. Wenchy

    “If I had my life to live over again, I’d dare to make more mistakes the next time.” – Nadine Stair

    I don’t think the above is possible for me, I’ve messed up so often.

  4. Oh wow, what an unprofessional and bitchy way to do an appraisal.

    Me, I would have had my kids younger. I am too old for the little sleep I am getting.

  5. Honestly I would want to change things now – at work! I hate the way I lie down and take so much crap without saying anything – its not in my nature and yet I do it! And it is now negatively affecting the well being of my family!

  6. pamiejane

    I would have made different, possibly smarter career choices.
    At the moment I am in a rut and don’t know quite how to get out of it and seem to have been there for the past 10 years. Different jobs but nothing fulfilling!

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